My Happy Roast

This is a recipe for a fairly good roast :
3 - 5 lb Roast : can be loin , shank , shoulder , undercut can be used but not preferred
1/4 cup cumin
1/4 cup coriander
1/4 cup paprika
1/4 cup rosemary
1/2 tsp crushed clove
1/2 tsp crushed cardamom
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbs ground ginger
2 tsp salt
5 tbs garlic powder
2 cups chopped green onion
1/2 cup crushed dried red pepper
1/2 cup crushed black pepper
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup red wine (anything but merlot , don't cook with anything you wouldn't drink)
2 cups dried fruit ( prunes , apricots , figs or all three)
1 packet cream of mushroom soup
5 tbs olive oil
1 large beef tomato
1/2 cup cream cheese
2 cups steamed spinach
1 large baking dish
cooking twine

Prep:

Score the surface of your meat cross hatch against the grain
Combine cumin , coriander , paprika , rosemary , cardamom , cinnamon , ginger, salt, red wine , and soup
Cover meat with this mixture and knead into the meat
Ensure that meat is completely submerged in liquid
cover and let marinate over night
Combine chopped steamed spinach with cream cheese
Core tomato removing all pulp and seeds
Stuff tomato with cream cheese spinach mix and set in fridge to cool
Next day:
Remove meat from marinade and pat dry reserving marinade
Preheat oven to 453 degrees
Place olive oil in baking dish and place on stove
Place meat on cutting board lengthwise
Place dried fruit along the meat lengthwise
Tie roast ensuring that fruit is securely nestled within
Using tongs lightly sear the outer layer of the roast in the olive oil
take off and place on cutting board
rub with red and black pepper , garlic powder and brown sugar
place in oven
cook to your liking : rare , medium , well etc periodically baste with marinade and pan drippings when done remove from oven
cut away twine
slice roast into 1 1/2 inch slices
use pan drippings and 1/2 cup coffee with 1/2 cup redwine for some red eye gravy
place 3 slices of roast on a plate
cover with red eye garnish with your stuffed tomato and chopped green onion (you can substitute a baked potato if you like that better)

Enjoy Biatch!!!

Wish list Cafe

Today's dish : Vengence --->

Vengence creeps in dark alleys on spider legs...
Quiet on kitten paws...
Red maw poised...
Trap ready to spring and gout blood..
There is no room for remorse..
No room for reason...
The lash is out....
Screaming sweet crimson rage..
Primal triumph...
Chattering teeth...
Broken bones...
White hot antibiotic agony...
Rain..black rain...
Grinning...Justice...grinning
I like Justice...

Agony

Agony

The perception of pain is a profound entity. Pain , is a multifaceted highly variegated yet almost ephemeral machine. Nocireceptors innervated by "A delta" nerve fibers detect pain sensation through out the body. The exact mechanism of pain is incredible in that from the instant of stimulus nerve impulses fire traveling at almost 20 meters per second sending signals to the brain which in turn sends impulses back to the site of stimulus. For the sake of discussion let us consider , the lit end of a cigarette pressed against an erect nipple. The instant the burning end of the cigarette comes into contact with the delicate skin of the aforementioned nipple alarm bells sound. The "A delta" fibers react to this stimulus releasing neurotransmitters : Glutamic acid and Substance - P these in turn send electrical impulses racing along nerve fiber axons to the dorsal horn cells in the spine and finally to the thalamus in the brain. Doesn't sound too impressive until one considers that as I intimated previously pain is multifaceted. Pain sensation is heightened by other adjacent stimulus . For all intensive purposes the pain of accidental exposure of the nipple to a burn and a cigarette burn to the nipple are the exact same pain. Why then is the act of someone placing a cigarette against said nipple so much more distressing. The mind is an animal that can turn on its master in an instant. The visual stimulus of seeing someone placing a cigarette against your nipple and deriving sadistic pleasure from it can heighten pain. The smell of your own flesh charring , the taste of acid rising in your gorge in disgust all contribute to the perception of pain. Even the natural avoidance reaction of closing the eyes and turning away from the pain stimulus dump acetyl choline into your blood stream heightening fear and in turn pain. In this sense pain can be conquered by simply concentrating on the pain..in essence "owning" your pain. This act of acceptance releases endorphins into your system calming you and ultimately filling you with a feeling of elation and euphoria. The body reacts by selectively inhibiting and dampening the travel of pain along the spinal cord , and the resting threshold of pain is increased. The synapses that receive pain stimulus become flooded with. positive stimuli and all receptors for pain get occupied not allowing for any further perception of pain. The smell of burning flesh etc. may be distressing but your acceptance and acute awareness of the pain while not preventing damage to your rather unfortunate nipple..or even completely numbing the pain..does go a long way to changing your minds interpretation of this pain...you begin to welcome the sensation "Yes , this is bearable , come now, you need to dole out more if you want me to scream". Pain like anything else that we perceive is chemical. Once understood any negative stimulus can be dealt with the same way acute pain is. Your knowledge of pain sets you free. You are stronger than you were before.

Hemoptysis

Hemoptysis :


The act of coughing out blood -->can be minimal to massive in quantity. Massive hemoptysis can be in excess of 3-4 liters;

An instance of hemoptysis can occur suddenly , and massive hemoptysis can , and often does, kill in a matter of 15 seconds from the onset of the episode to its final grisly conclusion. The patient expires as a result of aspirated blood coating the pulmonary alveoli which in turn arrests essential gas exchange in the lungs ; oxygen saturation drops ; the body in a valiant yet futile effort to maintain equilibrium stimulates the heart to pump faster but massive blood loss lowers the blood pressure , resulting in less blood being pumped to vital organs and as a result drastically less oxygen , less oxygen causes the nerve cells in the brain to die , misfiring nerve centers in the brain stem cause the already failing heart to pump erratically , asynchronously and violently , until the cardiac muscle , deprived of life giving oxygen , stops beating and a condition known as "cardiac arrest" in sues ; the patient now drowning in their own blood , deprived of cardiac support , and severely brain damaged , finally and mercifully shuffles off the mortal coil.

A Whisper

There is no voice...Have you ever noticed that? No one can hear you. You can scream and scream and scream until your voice is raw and you are coughing blood and still...no one can hear you. There are too many things wrong and even worse too many people willing to close their eyes. And even worse there are so many other people who knowing , that afore mentioned eyes are closed , elect to follow anyway. I'm fucking sick of it all. Too much corruption..too many people worried about their own petty bullshit..too much motherfucking drama..its enough already..a change is coming. Big things are happening..big things that effect everybody , but evidently none of that stuff is important enough. There are a few people that care. Too few , and that's very unfortunate. As I write I know nothing will change. Then why write? Well , If I know that the house is burning down , its not in me to go from room to room just whispering "fire". There are a few people , however , who have found a way to break through..and get to a platform where they can , shout. Loud and clear for the whole world to hear. And that , reader is the saddest bit of all..the ugly despicable truth ; because , if you ever get up there to the podium to talk ,you suddenly become aware that its your first real chance to see..to really see. And you do see... your audience , that is. And they have their fingers in their fucking ears , eyes tightly shut , and big vacuous grins plastered on their high pristine faces. Its not that they can't hear your voice. They don't want to listen. Wondrous fucking oblivion I suppose. That's enough reflection for now.

Hard is the Path : #1. It Begins

There is blood spattered on the walls..
I'm naked
Up to my ankles in it..
Chainsaw glazed with gore..
How did i get here...
Where was i last night...
There is something in my fist..it looks like a talon.
There is a glow coming from the nightstand drawer..
inside is an oval piece of metal..a pendant perhaps..
embossed on its surface is the rude effigy of a cavorting devil..
This small talisman gives me comfort..
There is a brief case on the table..
Its full of money...
When look down at my chest i see strange symbols tattooed on my skin..
This is all very puzzling..why cant i remember?
i need to leave..
i take the briefcase,and the jacket i put the claw in my pocket
i find a pair of sneakers in the closet with the jacket
Last I put the talisman in my pocket..it feels good there....feels right for some reason
i also take the corn-beef sandwich and beer from the fridge..
i step out into the rain..
where is home...
I feel there is something i need to do , what , i don't know
I'll figure it out on the way...but right now i need to get far away..
the rain washes the worst of the blood away..
i worry the barbed wire out of the wound..
i walk..slowly..searching for a snatch of familiar
but its like chasing a puff of smoke..
almost.. but never all there..
i will remember..i need to find answers to these questions...
last thing..
there was an empty tote bag under the bed..
i took the chainsaw too..