Before Battle

Let your strength flow into me..because alone I am just a man but with you I become the blast of hurricane winds, the crashing of ocean waves, the conflagration of biting fire and the earth shakes at my approach...without you I am but a man...with you I am the immovable rock...I am crimson victory splashed across boulders of granite...I am icy steel and black obsidian and my enemies quake in fear...fill me with your strength ...vindicate me...I commit myself into your keeping

Facts... just the facts

Do yourself a favor don't just watch a movie, sit in front of the tv, or read a book. Keep your eyes open an seek out facts. Real concrete facts...When you do you'll be horrified to realize that 90% percent of what the mass media disseminates is an amalgamation of everything from gentle stretching of truth to bald faced redaction of history. Dependence on a third party to determine the veracity of any form of media for you; is an invitation to be lied to. Why would the media do such a horrible thing you ask? Agendas...plain and simple. Agendas are easier to bring to fruition when you win popular opinion. Misdirection; veil actions that border on wantonly criminal in false patriotism and honor then everything that's so dirty comes out squeaky clean. Indulging in a little shroud waving quiets many voices and hides many dark things. I imagine it must be especially satisfying to convince a population to cheer and applaud actions that will ultimately lead to their enslavement. The worlds biggest joke : singing your oppressors praises while starving, sitting in chains, and freezing to death. So do yourself a favor get the facts. Do the leg work; its worth it.

Rights

The word "rights" is a dangerous and loaded word. Potential is a better one. Rights don't exist; there is only that which you have the potential to attain and that which you have the potential to lose. As long as a person entertains the idea of "rights" they become a slave to the system that dictates what those "rights" are and how far said "rights" extend. Entities with power attempt to sell the term "rights". By doing so they control how much you are allowed to have and whether or not you are allowed to grow while simultaneously attempting to convince you that in spite of obvious truths you are living the "good life". "Things are awesome now don't ask for anything more you have it good". Todays "rights" are tomorrows "potential" shackles.

On Dogs

Dogs are the perfect backup. My dogs will listen to me and not just wait for their turn to speak, they play and have fun with me....if I play the fool they won't castigate me...in fact they'll probably join in the merry making, they work efficiently and never slotch, and if I am in mortal danger my dogs will even die to defend and protect me..... but all of that isn't the best thing. The best thing about canines is that they understand better than anyone that we are a PACK. A single entity operating together towards a common goal with mutual understanding, respect and love. I am the leader of our pack and my animals depend on me and I in turn protect and nurture them. However if for any reason I am unable to assume the role of pack leader and protector they will rise to the occasion and assume that role; because they are social animals; they assume leadership because someone has to for the good of the pack. The difference is that my dogs don't spend their nights dreaming about how they can screw me over, in order to take the leader position.

For my food lovers

Here's something nice for you to think about -

Appetizer : Beluga caviar , sour cream , blintzes , apricot blackberry chocolate preserves

Salad : Almond , roasted peaches, water cress, apple wood bacon,

1st course : Rack of Wild boar, randia coco foam, ghost pepper reduction

2nd course: Pan seared medallions of duck, coconut papaya chutney, bourbon cardamom black pepper glaze

3rd course: Clarified butter and lemon smoked Cornish game hen, caramelized truffle red wine chocolate and green chillie reduction

Dessert: 12 layered triple infused chocolate almond fudge cake, new bean slow churned vanilla ice cream

Accompaniment : Prix 2007 Moskowite Ranch Reserve

Prayer Beads

I'm always confused by folks that wear or carry prayer beads purely for their aesthetics. -

"So why do you have those?" -
"Oh yeah don't they look ill dude" -
"So I gather you don't pray?" -
"No homie I'm an atheist...what's up? You look irritated."
"You're a tool homie"
"What? are some kinda religious nut Sam?"
"Dude, you are a walking talking advertisement for callous absurdity"
"Well I don't see it that way"
"And that's your deal that's fine; I just find it distasteful that you've taken something that has large quantities of religious significance for millions of people and equated them with a slap bracelet"

Starved for attention, Seeking self worth, Praying for validation

Some guy :"Yeah man isn't it great being a doctor?".

Sam :"Um I guess so at the end of the day that's just a title..administering care and helping people is what's pretty awesome".

Some guy: "Yeah but as a doctor everyone knows the hard work you've done and recognizes it..I love the accolades"

Sam: "Well it's enough for me to know what I've done and more importantly what I do"

(he gives me a puzzled look)

Some guy: "Not me..every time I see Dr. next to my name its a little pat on the back"

Sam: "Like getting a cookie right..that and yer white coat lets everyone know how special you are right?"

(again with the puzzled look)

Some guy: "huh dude what are you talking about I'm a doctor of music composition"

Sam: "Oh....well enjoy that cookie anyway..here we'll even put a gold star next to your name....A++....hugs, kisses, a cherry on top and all that shit too"

Help

God give me strength for I am but a man. Vindicate me..there is a well I dip into for my strength but being just a man that well has a bottom and when it is empty I cry out to you. Raise me up once again, help me fight, confound my enemies, do not let their dark desires come to fruition in my time of weakness. You see victory even when I cannot, help me to see with your eyes. Help me to fight until I close my eyes in death. Help me not to fear. Help me be a light to those in need. Help me walk the good path and not submit to my baser impulses. Help me never to forget. I can never forget..ever. Give me faith so that I can be steadfast till the end. Make my frame steel and my heart rock for the time ahead. Thank you for your many blessings. Forgive me when I stumble. I will never forsake the gifts I have been given. Give me oil in my lamp, till the darkness lifts and the warm sunlight comes back. Sunshine and chocolate rain are coming...meanwhile I will abide.

Blessed

When I was younger I was cuter: I had a head full of jet black hair, a warm smile, and a friendly demeanor. People don't think I'm nearly as cute these days.

Now my head is shaved, I hardly smile, and I'm not all that friendly.

Sorry, sometimes it happens; time will make things sparkle less. I'm still happy though because there are just a few people that don't care that I'm bald or that I don't smile hardly anymore or even that I'm less than friendly a lot of the time...for that I am very blessed.

Stand for the Light

We should stand as a warriors for the light. No I am not, have not been, and probably will never be without folly or flaw and neither will you friends; but in this age of "I'm doing me" bald faced selfishness and brazen callousness; does that matter at all? The fact that : courage, honor, justice, altruism, charity, and empathy are counted rarities among our species is a very sad indictment of the human race and the times we live serving only to prove how very far we have fallen. So shame the devil, confound the plans of evil, and stand for the light. The rewards are meager but the work is valuable nonetheless.

Why?

You are dog tired right now.

"I am"

So why are you going out to train.

"I have to"

No you don't, yer not belligerent. You're mild as milk; you don't start fights.

"No your right, I try to defuse them as best I can"

I know this can't be a male bravado thing.

"What's that mean?"

You do realize that you are wearing pink flip flops right now

"Ok point taken; no its not about any man thing"

Is it masochistic; you know like I like the pain etc

"Not really; I mean building intestinal fortitude is nice but no; its not about the pain"

*shrug*

Well maybe you just have more energy

"No, I'm dog tired"

So why are you going out to train?

"It's important"

Why?

"God forbid, if one day there is a someone who can't be reasoned with and they decide that they want to take something from me that I care about....they aren't going to care if I'm dog tired.....it's not about attaining...its maintaining. As much as it can be prevented I want to keep from losing the things I love. Working towards monetary compensation while it allows you to buy nice things; is of primary importance because it maintains the status quo ie keeping the lights on. I care about the lights staying on. This is just an extension of that...so when it starts clouding up...I will do whatever is within my power to keep the lights on..whether I am tired or not. The rest is in God's hands."

**silence***

"Hello?"

No I was just thinking you look ridiculous in those pink flip flops

"Ok...I'm going out to train"

Have fun..

"Fair" skin

Among the Indian community there is a very foolish pursuit to become "fairer". It has damaged generations of people and is probably one of the more ridiculous facets of our culture. Entire industries that thrive on Indian society's desire to lighten their skin have sprung up. This skin bleaching industry capitalizes on ill placed insecurity and has damaged the skin of many many people. There are myriads of beautiful people of Indian origin who are variegated shades ; from deep dark ebony to pale creamy alabaster. Well if we're going to be completely open there are many beautiful people from many different ethnic groups who are many different colors but that's a whole different kettle of fish for a whole different day. It has become so ridiculous that at this point a person who is : morally bankrupt, self serving, uninteresting, dumb as a brick, and ugly as sin will be marked as a "good catch". While many who are kind, considerate, vivacious, brilliant, and frankly smoking hot drop dead gorgeous (aesthetically)..get branded as : not a very promising partner...why? "Well you know they're just too dark..you know." This is probably one of the most fucking idiotic and callous statements I have ever had the bad luck of hearing. This sentiment breeds sadness and makes many young men and women question their value as human beings. Over what? Their skin....something they were born with...something that makes them beautiful and really contributes in a very insignificant way to their worth as a functioning member of society. Typical bleaching cream commercial ( yes I'm talking about you Fair and Lovely motherfuckers) : young woman goes to a job interview and gets rejected....she goes home and her friend suggests using bleaching cream...she goes back to the same job after bleaching her skin and gets hired on the spot (OMG what do you know)...commercial cuts to a scene of this young lady happy , successful, and wealthy.....look what being fair can do for you. What a steaming pile of motherfucking horse shit. Imagine what good could be done if we taught young men and women to value themselves irregardless of their skin color. What incredible good could be done and what leaps and bounds could be made. Maybe there would be a little progress for once if things could be more than skin deep. Maybe there would be more self confidence and less second guessing. But if I know Indian culture this moronic sentiment will continue for a very long time...but not with my kids I'll promise you that much. I know this is probably a waste and serves no purpose other than to highlight a sad embarrassing aspect of the Indian community but its been bothering me for a while and I thought I should say something. Phew....that feels better..next we'll talk about height, racism, genoism, and narcissists. Oh boy Oh boy!

On Haters

Haters. There are lots of them out there. Real haters don't care if you are at the bottom of the barrel with your head just above water and they are atop a mountain of gold.... they will still hate on you. Haters will go to the same restaurant everyday to eat lobster and filet mignon walking right past you, sitting on the curb outside. If they happen to catch you particularly destitute and they happen to be particularly brave (because this breed tends to be cowardly by nature)..they will point, laugh, and deride you with their buddies..then go inside to have a great meal while you sit cold and hungry outside. That's where it ends a lot of the time.

Real haters..will do very much the same with a little difference. Most haters will leave it at that and if anything good comes into your life there after they will be comfortable with the fact that they were above you at one time and leave it alone. A few very despicable haters will go that extra mile of asshole with the following practice. If anything of any worth, even a tiny crust of bread, comes into your life the hater in question will be filled with a hot rage. They will leave the comfort of their hot meal and warm company to comes outside and knock that crust of bread out of your hands and into the gutter. They will then proceed to move a table outside and eat their meal in front of you laughing the whole time. They are comforted by knowing that they helped deprive you of even a little, and to further emphasis this victory they will then proceed to wave their success in your face.

Why this horrendous behavior? Because ultimately the hater, really hates themselves. They bluster and boast and inside harbor a deep resentment for those that have little but still manage to remain happy. Haters often times will adorn themselves with the newest and most ostentatious garb in order to further bury these feelings and hide the fact that they are more miserable with their lobster and steak then you are with your tiny crust of bread. They will also surround themselves with sycophantic degenerates who act as their narcissistic supply, filling the function of a buffer between the hater and their self loathing..commonly referred to as their "entourage". Often times both entities will work in tandem : the hater parading their paper thin successes in front of this "entourage" and then proceeding to drink up the accolades these slaves will invariably spew. This practice is commonly referred to as "flossing".

These delusions of grandeur blind the hater to very important facts. Their place of power isn't really all that stable, in fact many of the aforementioned variety often have more to lose due in no small part to their elevated position. They live under two misconceptions.

First that the object of their misplaced aggression will always be "below" them, and that the status quo will remain indefinitely. This would explain the surprise that they often exhibit behind clenched tooth smiles when they hear news of someone whom they have been "hating on" coming into success. This in turn will cause their aggression and covetous hatred to increase and they may resort to numerous additional psychological tactics and sometimes physical tactics in order to exact revenge. Revenge for what you might ask? The hater must do anything to separate themselves from their self loathing; your success causes them to mentally decompensate in a sense. The status quo must be maintain : "How dare you...even attempt to better yourself...and even more audacious....how dare you succeed...how dare you make me feel bad about myself." It's as simple as that, the hater feels personally affronted that the object of their hatred has done well for themselves and views it as a direct attack.

Second and most importantly, haters often times believe that nothing can touch them. They will do anything to try time and time again to hide their inadequacies. If there is a potential for them to lose face in a situation they will make any number of excuses to prevent a confrontation because like I said before: inside all haters are yellow to their core and their cowardice is only superseded by their arrogance. If a hater is foolish enough; sometimes their arrogance will get them into a direct confrontation. This is dangerous ground from them because often times the object of their aggression has less to lose and everything to gain. The passive aggressive tactics of a hater do them little good in an altercation...so pour on the heat if they confront you directly. If presented with minimal force and maximal pressure the hater's thin veneer will crack and shatter.

So what does this mean for you? Stand your ground. Smile when the haters pass by..wave at them too. Even if you are down and out; smile at them. Live your life, be happy and move forwards. Like I said before it really does stoke the fire when a hater sees you smile. Learn to smile now and you will still be smiling when you ARE way above them at cruising altitude. They'll hate you more then but hey, they hated on you when you had nothing...its ok..let them hate on you now that you have everything. Their lives are so empty as it is...let them hate because that's all they can and will do. If you get lucky enough while you are down and out to have a hater confront you. The gloves are off..they've crossed the line..lay into them. Take not prisoners..destroy them. If you could liken the human heart and mind to a city....set torch to every roof, raze every building to the ground, and salt the earth when you are done. The hater in question has not shown you any courtesy and you have remained pleasant in spite of all their abuse. Now that they have over stepped their bounds...there is no place for civility. Be the whirlwind...and carry away everything that they hold dear..you are within your rights to do so. A loss like that is very damaging to the hater psychologically and may even stave off any further attacks for a time.

In closing, I know that I have a tendency to be rather wordy..lol case in point. In plain english it comes down to this : Hater are gonna hate. If given the opportunity to roll up on you and snatch away that last drop, they will.. because they're just fucked up like that. Keep your head up, because every dog has their day sooner or later. The haters can laugh and carry on now : let them boast, brag, and talk all that bullshit now. You'll get yours very very soon. In the meantime; if they step to you...do not punk out. If it comes to a battle of words cut them down..most of them aren't that articulate to begin with so this shouldn't be too hard. If it comes to and actual fight..oh baby...get ready to throw down. Its ok..God gave you two good hands..throw those thangs. If yer outnumbered you have little to worry about : chances are none of their punk ass friends are gonna jump in to save the day. Be strong and handle your business; it'll be worth sending that message : "I wasn't bothering nobody and you had to roll up on me talkin all kinds of bullshit and trying to start some trouble...that was a bad idea..it's hard to floss and look good for your homies when yer spitting out teeth isn't it..so why don't you gather up whatever's left of your dignity and fuck off now."

Stand tall, smile, and don't let those haters get you down..victory is fast approaching...hold on just a little longer.

The Cost of Leadership

Somethings shouldn't have changed. Years ago if two groups of peoples had a disagreement a meeting was held and their differences were discussed. If a middle ground could not be met two things could then happen. The two groups could arm themselves for battle or the leaders could meet in single combat to spare the lives of their warriors. If a challenge for single combat was presented by one ruler and his opponent refused to meet said challenge the latter party would often be dubbed a coward and traitor to his/her people more incline to send better men and women to die in their stead. Often times the leader position was not as highly sought after for this very reason. A leader would have to weigh the value of political power with the potential risk of single combat and death. With time rulers gained greater power and the position of king's/queen's "champion" gave rulers the out they needed. Thus a ruler could challenge another to single combat and their respective champions would duel to the death leaving these political leaders unscathed. How much better would the world be and how much less blood would have been shed across the years of human history if political animals were forced to face the same deaths that they condemn thousands upon thousands of nameless and faceless to die in their stead. Maybe political leaders would think twice about their arbitrary decisions if they knew that "their" lives were potentially on the line. Politicians would learn to care for their brothers and sisters on a much more visceral level. If politicians risked the same sufferings that their flighty decisions heaped on their constituents perhaps they wouldn't be so willing to make them for monetary or political gains.

Tenacity

It pays to be tenacious. Some will say that you are bludgeoning your face against an immovable wall. That is not true. Be tenacious. Everyday is resistance against the grist mill; the implacable uncaring machine that is trying to grind hope into dust. Fight forever; make the enemy pay dearly for every inch they try to take away. Fight..because to fight is better than to submit. Have hope; there is victory fast approaching. Never ever relent ...they may attempt to set you back but they cannot cast you from your course. That decision is yours; only you can decide to give up. Do not do it; instead live your life; enjoy everything that life has to offer and move forwards but never forget that there is a battle at hand. Live your life because moving forwards in other facets of your life is the one thing that cannot be stolen from you; but never ever let them believe that you have given up. It burns your oppressor even more that you are happy in spite of all their attempts to make your world a desolation; while you simultaneously continue, always continue to fight. Be tenacious and filled with hope there is no way that you can lose. Stand your ground. The light of day comes after the rain. Always.

Bonfire of the Sanities

Give in to me you will feel so much better after you do...

Close your eyes and fall into me I will show you sleep I will take you away to rest and sublime release...

I know that your burden is crushing and your heart is care worn;

Let your reason flow into me...I will give you a gift… my boon...

And you will be whatever your heart has desired to be.

All else will fall away and your rationing mind will slumber for a time....

Sit beneath my spreading boughs and dream...where I am there are no weeping children, no bills, no creditors, no worries, no diseases, death, aging, or broken hearts...

Eat of my fruit...and let your belly finally be full...

Leave your world of care behind and for a time sleep...

For, you can stay as long as you wish...

And that world of care will pass like a glass before your eye...but you will remain...you will abide...

And, if you choose to take your long ease I will make the transition quick and painless...

Slip into my arms ...open your wrists; you will sleep forever and feel peace...

I'll hold you close my tired babe and kiss your lips and take your breath into me...

There is nothing so precious as that final whispering breath...

The one that goes back to God...